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Melissa
Frequent user September 2018 Quebec

Bridesmaids aren’t on good terms

Melissa, on August 17, 2018 at 15:35 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 10

I’m kind of hesitant to post this, but two of my BMs had a disagreement that’s related to the wedding and it ended with both being on not so great terms. My MOH informed me after I told her I was inviting BM#2 to join us for dinner with BM#1 and she didn’t think it was a good idea at this time. As they’re both special to me, I’m wondering if I should step in and try to talk to each? I’m just worried I’ll make it worse by saying something. I’m trying to find a nice way of asking them to squash it for my sake.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on August 19, 2018 at 15:09
  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    I would for sure step in. If they are on bad terms that's on them, they can play civil for your sake if they truly care about you! If they are being selfish and spoiling these events for you honestly give them a good talking to that's unacceptable.
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  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
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    Considering neither of them made any effort to bring it up with you, I honestly think they’re already being adults about it. I think you should just invite them both, they know they have to be civilized around each other and if they make a fuss at dinner then you say something. But likely they’re just going to ignore it.
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  • Melissa
    Frequent user September 2018 Quebec
    Melissa ·
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    Good point, thank you!
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  • Melissa
    Frequent user September 2018 Quebec
    Melissa ·
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    I know this is why I’m nervous Smiley atonished I just want them to get along.
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  • Melissa
    Frequent user September 2018 Quebec
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you! It’s not clear to me if it’s okay, but my MOH has offered to talk to each separately and see if they can resolve it!
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  • Meagan
    Frequent user October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Meagan ·
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    I see your date is next month, now is not the time for them to be acting childish. Tell them point blank that they need to behave like adults, they don't have to like each other, and it's fine if they don't but they should have enough respect for you to simmer down. They should not be stressing you out right now!

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  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
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    I would stay out of it unless the issues start to affect you and the wedding personally. It sounds like you had no idea until the MOH told you so whatever the drama is they are currently keeping you and the wedding out of it and being adults about the situation so no need to intervene at the moment.
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  • Petra
    Frequent user June 2020 Ontario
    Petra ·
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    I would honestly talk to them separately and see what happened from both sides and let them know how this makes you feel and that you would appreciate if this could be resolved before the wedding because you don’t want awkward tension between your bridesmaids
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Their behaviour at the moment isn't too great and resolved on their own. If not resolved, then ask if the situation has been resolved from your MOH. If she says yes, all is good and if she says no, then you need to step in and remove them from your party if they are not wanting part of the wedding or your day as mentioned. Don't take any chances if things go downhill.

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  • Phaidra
    Frequent user October 2019 Alberta
    Phaidra ·
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    It sounds like they both really care about you and your day, but honestly, I wouldn't really take it in to consideration on whether I should invite them or not. If they act up or start an argument during a function with you at it, I would totally tell them to grow up and get over it, but if they're able to still be decent I'd just proceed as normal.
    #advicefridays

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