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Madisyn
Expert February 2020 Ontario

How did you handle things not going as planned?

Madisyn, on August 16, 2019 at 21:10 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 31
I've learned (the hard way) that things don't always go the way you wanted with wedding planning.

First, we found out today that my FH's first cousin is getting married on the same day as our legal ceremony (before our destination wedding.) Naturally, we are the ones who need to change the date because we and all of his family are invited to their actual wedding. I'm trying process having to give up my "cool" date of 2-22-2020.

Second, my FH went to pick up his band today and it came in white gold, not the yellow gold we ordered. This isn't such a big deal because he actually likes it lore than the yellow. It also matches my rings which is a bonus!

I am trying so hard not to be a bridezilla and just go with the flow... But it can be hard.😅 How have you handled things not going the way you planned?

How did you handle things not going as planned? 1

31 Comments

Latest activity by Madisyn, on September 5, 2019 at 17:17
  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    I totally get it! I didn't used to either. 😅
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  • Sheena
    Curious August 2019 Ontario
    Sheena ·
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    Ah fair enough. I clearly don’t watch football lol.
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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    Thank you for the suggestion! 😁 As much as my man loves me, he would never give up SuperBowl Sunday for that! Lol. It's all good though, we have changed the date to Valentine's day! Gives us a reason to celebrate if we ever wanted to.
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  • Sheena
    Curious August 2019 Ontario
    Sheena ·
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    If you still want a super cool date and don’t mind having the legal ceremony on a Sunday could you do 02.02.2020?
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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    That's definitely frustrating if your reception venue didn't live up to expectations and agreements. I'm sorry to hear that! I hope the overall experience wasn't too hindered by it.

    Thank you for the well wishes! Hoping it's mostly smooth sailing from here on out.
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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    I love that your day was still beautiful and full of love, despite a few hiccups. Rain is definitely a concern, but you made the most of it! And I really do love how the umbrellas look. Perfectly imperfect is something I'll remind myself of in the coming months! Thank you!
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  • Lisa
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Lisa ·
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    It rained cats and dogs for our outdoor ceremony, and we just went with it. We could have made a choice to try to contact every one of our guests in a short time frame and get them to go to the reception venue instead, but we decided not to (I think it would have been way to stressful and I'd have been so worried that someone that came all that way didn't get the message).

    So, it poured, I walked down the aisle with an umbrella - every single one of us (guests included) had umbrellas... it meant that most guests couldn't hear our vows, which I feel bad about, but they were meant for me and my husband anyway. It also meant that the songs we picked for the ceremony couldn't be heard, but it really didn't alter how perfectly imperfect the day way!

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Most of it did but there's a lot that didn't (all reception venue related tho).

    I'm so sorry things aren't going as planned Smiley sad I hope leading up to your wedding things go smoothly!

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  • D
    Frequent user June 2020 Saskatchewan
    Dawn ·
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    I have taken to going into my closet screaming. Then i do a meditation and go deal with the problem with a much cooler head.
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  • Jazmin
    Newbie August 2019 Ontario
    Jazmin ·
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    When something hasn’t gone exactly how I’ve planned or how I wanted it to go, I just remember as magical as our wedding will be nothing but the actual Marriage part really matters. I think about the man I get to spend the rest of my life with and grow a family with then everything else doesn’t seem bad lol just rolls off my shoulders. Fingers crossed that I can keep this in my head for one more week Smiley smile
    Things can always be worse...
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  • K
    Beginner November 2019 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    I'm a planner through and through so when things don't follow my plan it's super frustrating!
    One of my fiance's closest friends didn't want us to have our wedding on our date (the only date in 2019 our venue had left) because it was her daughter's birthday. We eventually got that sorted.
    There were 2 family fights within a week of our stag and doe being booked that I just decided to forgo having one altogether.
    We've had a few mishaps and I'm sure more to come but definitely trying to focus on enjoying our engagement, and so long as we wind up married and have a good meal the days been a success!
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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    That's so great to hear! 😊
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  • Sharlene
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Sharlene ·
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    It was very upsetting. But I was able move forward and focus on the good, not the bad and truly enjoy our special day.
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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    Wow, Sharlene! That must have been some upsetting news. It's really inspiring how you were able to put all the drama aside and really make the most of your day!
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  • Sharlene
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Sharlene ·
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    We had both my now husband's mom and step dad and then his dad and step mom decline coming to our wedding and multiple of my aunts and uncles. I was a bit bothered by it at first and then I decided the day is about us and to focus on celebrating with the people who were coming to the wedding instead of being upset by the ones that couldn't make it. On the day of our wedding I also didn't focus on the people who RSVP'd yes and ended up not coming. This helped me to enjoy our day and to be perfectly honest (and maybe a bit biased) I think our wedding was the best wedding that I have ever attended!!! It was so fun. It felt like a party with our closest family and friends.

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    It sucks but at the end of the day youre gonna marry your best friend!!

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    I've tried so hard to be chill at everything and I've succeeded... Until this lol. I haven't freaked out but I am disappointed. I'm getting over it though! You're all so right!
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    That makes sense then! i wouldnt worry too much and pick another date! ive very chill so that stuff wouldnt bother me! dont let it get to you!!

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    They likely didn't know because they weren't invited! I definitely don't fault them for choosing "our date". Smiley smile
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    I dont get why they picked the same date as you lol. but either way try not to stress! things are always going to pop up!!

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    That's fair! The date isn't a big deal, as long as you marry your FH! Smiley laugh

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    I have been anti-drama this whole planning process! And I certainly don't want to create any, especially not about this.

    I'm glad your reception change ended up working for the better! Maybe this date change will bring something positive for us, too. Thanks for your input! Smiley smile

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    You are absolutely right about the obstacles, Vinod. This certainly isn't the first one we've faced, but I think it's the one that's bothering me the most. I guess I was overly attached to the date!

    We are happy with the rings so there is a silver lining there. Thank you for your kind words! We're doing our best to stay positive throughout it all. Smiley smile

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    Because we have people travelling from all over, it wouldn't make sense to ask them to take 2 weekdays off work. Plus, we're all travelling 7 weeks later for the wedding in Punta Cana. I think I'm conceding to not really having a "cool" date, anymore. And it isn't the end of the world! You're absolutely right - I just want to be married to him!

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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    I'm so sorry your dream location didn't fit into the plans. That had to be such a difficult decision to make!

    You're absolutely right about it being about the marriage and not the wedding at the end of the day. Really appreciate your words of encouragement!

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    You are not alone in this feeling at all. It is very difficult, it’s your wedding day you want things to be perfect. But things will go wrong, things will change, and you just have to roll with it or else it creates a ton of drama.
    We picked our venue to have an outdoor ceremony and reception. We ended up moving our reception inside because we found out about a noise by law and didn’t want to shut the party down. So our plan of having everything outdoors shifted early on, but it has worked out for the better
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Planning process may not exactly as smooth always. There will be obstacles along the way to face. Many of them can come from family, wedding party and FH at times. The only way to conquer your way through is be calm and cool dealing with any situation.

    I will say the rings look nice and what for its worth, your happy with the results and the same way you looked at this view, do the rest during your way of thoughts of what may come forth. Compromise on things you both may not see eye to eye based on budget or big decisions to make.

    It takes the two of you to be the bigger persons towards your family and wedding party to feel underestimated for your full potential.

    Keep rolling with the punches and hope you get the results better.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    That sucks about feeling like you have to give up your date! Could you do it on 02-20-2020? That way it's still a cool date but it is on a Thursday.

    I agree with you, sometimes you got to go with the flow when plans change! At the end of the day, you're getting married to the love of your life Smiley laugh

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  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    It IS difficult! My entire day has shifted from what I had originally wanted. It's fine, because I work in events and I know that this is how it goes but sometimes you want what you want and it's frustrating when it doesn't go your way!
    About a month of so ago, we changed our ceremony site from my dream location to a place that makes more sense logistically. I can't argue with logic, so I made the call and I believe it was the right thing to do. I was a bit bummed about it and I think my fiance was too, but then he turned to me and said, "You know what? It's okay. At the end of the day, I just want to marry you. I don't care when or where it happens. I just want to marry you."
    That's what this is all about, you know? I'm sorry you won't get your date and I'm sorry things may have shifted from your original vision, but the most important thing is that the two of you want to get married and spend the rest of your lives together and that your loved ones want to be there to celebrate that with you. Try to keep that in mind and it will be much easier to roll with the punches!
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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    It was just going to be a small ceremony with our families, MOH and BM. We don't want to take away from out actual wedding day so this wasn't supposed to be anything special. Still, we have people travelling from across the country to spend the legal wedding with us (they can't make it to Punta Cana.)

    Probably just getting used to things not working out... Lol. I hope most things with your wedding went well, though! 😊
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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    I’m assuming you hadn’t sent out STD’s for your wedding ceremony yet?

    With all the wedding planning, I learned to just roll with it. Stuff is going to go wrong and you can plan all you want, but things will still not work out. It still really sucks about your ceremony date tho! Was it going to be just something small with your immediate family?
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